Angels and Heroes

Angels and Heroes

I cannot imagine a school shooting being more sensational than the last but this time it was. The images of the Sandy Hook Elementary School will be long lasting in my mind and the minds of my children at home and at the school where I work. It’s puzzling that now we are on a renewed heightened awareness just as we were after 9/11.

There are some differences with this school shooting mainly because of the ages of the children, our new angels. I hope you didn’t wait for this tragedy to hug your children. Even though it was the first thing I did when I returned home, I always make it a habit and so should you. Tell the people around you that you love them.

I remember after 9/11 that everyone was friendlier. Too bad it took a tragedy and too bad it didn’t last. Maybe this time the kindness will last. At the time of 9/11, I heard a man on the radio say he made a commitment to buy a stranger a cup of coffee at least once a week. He said the reactions were unbelievable in ways he could not imagine. Some people could not believe the kindness. I tried it. He was right. Some people are surprised when others are kind to them for no reason.

I always tell my kids at home and my kids at school that their heroes are all around them in their parents, grandparents, teachers, military, and first responders. This latest tragedy has proven me right. Parents always want to know that their children are safe.

I received a call from a local television station asking me for comments about the Sandy Hook tragedy. I agreed for two reasons: one, the television station visits us when we have success. They weren’t contacting us just because there was a tragedy. Every news media outlet should try the positives once in a while. Another reason was because I want the parents to know that we treat their children with unconditional love just as we do with our children at home.

The latest incident has proven that our children’s educators put themselves in harm’s way to protect their students with unconditional love and unconditional leadership. I am not surprised because that is the commitment educators make when they decide to enter the noblest profession on earth. They are true heroes just as the first responders are in this case.

Be nice, angels are watching. Accept your role as a leader and empower those people around you to be leaders. Peace.

Choose Your Attitude

Attitude

You have total control over one thing every day: yourself (your attitude). It starts as soon as you get out of bed. When your feet hit the floor, you’ve already overcome one obstacle. Then when you turn on the light in your bathroom, don’t scream. That reflection in the mirror is you! Some people let the slightest thing set them off in a negative direction.

“Attitude determines altitude. Altitude determines outcome. Choose your attitude; make it a positive one!” –Rudnesky

Your attitude will control your destiny. Your attitude will definitely control your leadership. Choose your attitude, make it a positive one. See every barrier and conflict as an opportunity to improve the quality of your leadership ability. It’s not always easy but it will allow you and the people around you to be more successful in the long-term.

People that are negative, underachievers, and complainers become a disease after awhile. It is much easier to complain than to do something to improve. It’s easier to sit on the couch and eat chips and drink soda than to exercise and eat right. It’s much easier to bash your coworkers than to take charge of yourself and your attitude. It’s much easier to complain than to join the positive revolution. If you are shooting for average, congratulations you are almost there. If you think you can’t, you are there! Close this book and relax. Sleep on the couch and when you wake up join a social network.

Instead of a complaint, praise a coworker. Instead of underachieving, reach your potential through commitment and hard work. Instead of bashing your supervisors, join the Leader-Ship. It sails every day.

You may not always be able to always control your emotions but you should certainly be able to control how you act towards other people.

Excerpt from a letter sent by a student:

I had so much fun at Almost Anything Goes last night. ………….We work so well together no matter who we are with. At AAG, everyone was with new people. Right from the start my team was stretching, talking, making up names, cheers, and figuring out plans. As we looked around the room, every team was together and talking, I was so happy to see our school as one big, happy family. I have always wanted to make a change in people’s lives. That is what you do each and every day. Thank you for all your determination and courage to make this school a great place to be. I love every single Jostens renaissance event. You rock!

Almost Anything Goes is an annual nighttime event our organization has every year. We pack our gymnasium with ten teams that perform quirky relay races and activities. The culmination is an obstacle course where the team captain gets a shaving cream pie in the face. The premise is team-building and fun. 

Now choose your attitude and have fun!

My Super Bowl

My Super Bowl

At my age, it’s safe to say that the window of opportunity to play professional sports has expired. I did, however, have a meeting today with a student that will forever equate to winning the Super Bowl. Although this particular student has by no means yet reached her potential, she certainly will someday.

When she finished the seventh grade in 2006, she moved from our school district. It was unfortunate for us that she had to finish her middle school career in another state since she brought so many tears of joy to us during her three years here. Everyone who knew her grew fond of her personality and her will to succeed.

Everything did not come easy to her. She was born with a birth defect, cerebral palsy. Over the years, she had many barriers but she also had successes because of her determination to achieve. Because of her physical obstacles, she periodically needed surgery to correct some of her ailments.

As building principal, each year I set a goal of teaching at least one leadership lesson to every student in our school. When this particular student was in seventh grade, I can remember exactly where she sat in her language arts class and exactly what the lesson was about. As a matter of fact, we talked about it today.

One common connector to every leadership lesson I teach is goal setting. At the time, she had just finished a major surgery. After that lesson, she became a goal setter and a leader. Because of her surgery, her early goals were simple: smile, tie her shoes, and walk across the room. Most of us take those types of things for granted.

Over the years, we’ve kept in touch as she progressed through high school, applied to college then got accepted to a college as an education major. She is now in her sophomore year at Queens University. Since the seventh grade, she continued to set goals and move forward no matter what the obstacle. Her best is yet to come.

Because she was in town for Thanksgiving, she came to visit. I told one of the classes I would bring her in when she came to our school. Today, she spoke to a sixth grade class about goal setting. She reiterated the stories I told them about her. She also told the students about the value of service.

When we were walking back to the front of the building, she said, “I don’t know if I ever told you Dr. R. but you really made a difference in my life.” That statement is my Super Bowl, World Series, Nobel Prize, Stanley Cup, and Principal of the Year.  Thank you, Julie!

As an educator, that has always been my goal, to make a difference in the life of a student. And as Julie told me those words, I thought of all the other educators in our building that continue to make a positive difference and touch those kids that will allow us to have a positive future. For all those times you hear those words, keep in mind that there are thousands of times you never hear those words but those words are said about you.  If you are an educator, thank you for entering the noblest profession on earth (and beyond). If you are a person, thank a teacher!!

Be A Grateful Leader

Be A Grateful Leader, Have A Grateful Day

I don’t know where to begin except to say that I am grateful. I am a middle school principal in New Jersey, and our school only closed for three days until the power was restored in the wake of Hurricane Sandy. We are located about ten minutes from our closest Jersey shore town, Ocean City. Our city, Linwood, is surrounded by back bays and estuaries but we survived this one. During the summer we were closed for four days during Hurricane Irene. Most families lost power for a week. Again, I am grateful.

All around us, schools are still closed as administrators and town officials try to sort this thing out. Ten miles away in Atlantic City the casinos remain closed for five days as most of the city was still without power. We have a lot of our families that depend on the Atlantic City economy for their livelihood. Many of our staffulty (faculty and staff) were affected directly at their homes or the homes of loved ones. Selflessly, they put the less fortunate ahead of themselves as we re-aim our service learning resources. Again, I am grateful.

In classes, we are shifting our service learning platform to raise money for the cleanup and restoration from the hurricane and to step up our food drive. Ironically, before the hurricane, our service learning platform consisted of raising money for soccer balls that double as generators for lamps and charging stations to distribute to those places that do not have power or play things.

Now we must put that on the backburner and focus on more immediate, local needs and accept a leadership role and pay forward any previous kindness that has been bestowed on us. We are trying to explain to the students what is going on as this is the second time in a few months a lot of them were without power or displaced. Try to imagine the enormous loss for people that totally lost their homes. Again, I am grateful.

As crazy as it sounds, these are opportunities and experiences we must now embrace. We must embrace them for the opportunity to serve and the opportunity to learn. We must embrace these opportunities for the chance to lead. With all of the directives, reform, and bureaucracy in education, these are leadership and teaching moments.

As we rearranged our school calendars and lessons and redirected our resources and initiatives, we are coming together to make a difference in ourselves and in our community.  At the end of last week, we were looking for direction as people were starting to get back to their shore homes and some sort of normalcy. Again, I am grateful.

I viewed pictures, videos, and visited some areas. It was devastating to look at and more emotional if it was yours. There was a plethora in the media about the American Red Cross and their need for monetary resources. I visited the closest Red Cross site to us to try and fill a void.

There were people there not as lucky as we were. There was a group looking for relocation that made any barrier I had pale in comparison. When it was my turn, the first thing the Red Cross lady said, “I am tired.”  I asked what she needed then she told me they were inundated with volunteers and couldn’t disperse them where they needed to be. She said the most effective contribution would be money. She also urged us to donate to local food banks. Again, I am grateful.

At the time of this writing, we have connected with a few schools that need assistance. People that have been affected by Hurricane Sandy are looking for direction just as the people looking for service. If you have done anything to help, you are a leader. If you haven’t, become a leader.

Leadership is not popularity or recognition but the most effective leadership begins with service. Our school is going to be that example, and I’m sure your organization will, too. I am positive that our students will change the world in a positive way. They lead by example. Individually, we can surely make a difference. Collectively, we can make a synergistic difference, and we will.

Peace.

Leadership is a Choice

Choice

Leadership is not defined by a position or popularity.  Leadership is a choice. I can debate this point with a number of contemporary leadership authors but you have to agree that everyone has a choice. You also have a choice as to the type of leader you portray. There are great leaders then there are great, bad leaders.

I call the great, bad leaders: “Tater Tot Leaders.” I use the analogy of a school cafeteria. One kid throws a tater tot, and I have to admit, the size and shape are conducive to throwing. Then another kid throws one. Before you know it, the whole table is throwing tots. The one kid that threw the first tot is a leader, he has followers but he led in a bad direction. I can use the same analogy to some very bad world leaders that had whole countries following them.

Some authors will deliberate that leaders are born. I will argue that there are some circumstances that may be advantageous to your quality of life and your opportunities because we aren’t all born on a level playing field. However, as life progresses, your ability to lead and the direction you choose to lead are entirely up to you. In fact, this type (power) of leadership stifles the leadership potential within the organization. These types of leaders lack the ability to reach their potential because they associate power or lack of power as vulnerability that deteriorates their leadership. On the contrary, once you think you need invincibility you become a fairytale leader that will allow the organization to perish because you try to live forever without setting up your organization to thrive in the long-term.   

Positional leaders take the power wherever they go, so to speak. These people define leadership as power, and they think there is a finite amount of leadership. These people will not promote leadership for everyone.

So let us create some leadership. Get on board the leader-ship. Choose and accept your role as a leader. Over the years we (my colleagues, family, and I) have tried to simplify the topic of leadership success. Through research and experience we broke it down to four areas that will balance your opportunities: 1) Self-Management – Organization, 2) Communication – Listening,          3) Critical Thinking, Problem Solving, and Team Building, 4) Character Education – Service Learning

These four areas are intertwined. Success in all four areas will balance the leadership process and your life. There will always be empty seats on the leader-ship. So, climb on board.It's your Choice.