Things to Tell Your Son or Daughter Before They Go to College

Things to Tell Your Son or Daughter Before They Go to College

1.      Your happiness or unhappiness depends on you. Don’t let anyone steal your dreams.

2.      Always set goals along with a plan to accomplish those goals.

3.      Make fitness and health a way of life.

4.      If you think it’s not right, don’t do it. Listen to the voice in back of your head.

5.      Just because everyone else is doing it, it doesn’t mean it’s right. It doesn’t mean you should do it.

6.      Only take creative, calculated risks.

7.      Be safe.

8.      Hang out with good people. You know the difference.

9.      Always be respectful and do not accept anything less in return.

10.  Be organized.

11.  Always contribute service to your community.

12.  Have integrity.

13.  Be Nice.

14.  Potential minus commitment equals nothing.

15.  If you’re not successful, blame yourself.

16.  No one owes you anything.

17.  Your parents will always love you.

18.  Love your parents unconditionally. They do not owe you a college education.

19.  Always look at other people’s points of view

20.  Never sell yourself short. Never let anyone tell you you cannot do something.

21.  If you don’t know what to pursue, follow your passion. Money will be there.

22.  Everyone makes mistakes, some you can learn by; others can put you in a bad place permanently.

23.  There’s a big difference between loving someone and being in love. You can love your pet.

24.  You will have many more failures than successes, or you never tried to accomplish anything.

25.  When you listen to the soundtrack of your life, what do you hear?

26.  Responsibility is not a part time job.

27.  If you want advice, look inside a fortune cookie. If you want my opinion, make it count.

There are many more to come but I had to get this list out before my daughter went to college.

Be Where You Want to Be

26. Be Where You Want To Be

“If you don’t like where you are, do something about it.”

-Rudnesky

I

t’s easy to complain. Ask anyone that complains. What isn’t easy is doing something positive about your complaint. Sometimes the place where you want to be is the place where you are, but you let negative people control your destiny. Every time a new idea comes along, they shoot it down.

My story growing up is like most educators. I worked jobs I did not necessarily like to make the money I needed to survive and go to college. And like many educators, I have worked in schools where I felt underappreciated, but I maintained my intrinsic motivation. And wherever you work and play, you have probably been in a place where you felt appreciated and a place where you were not appreciated.

Finally, with the help of everyone at Belhaven Middle School, we did something to keep our organization fine-tuned in a positive direction. We discovered this amazing leadership process called Renaissance that we molded to fit the needs of our school.

            The following is an excerpt from Elizabeth, a sixth grade social studies teacher.

            “I am a middle school teacher of 25 years.  I reached a low point in my career about 10 years ago when the curriculum I was teaching was eliminated from the district’s plan.  I felt unappreciated, and that my contributions to the students I taught was not important. Unfortunately, I internalized these feelings and started to believe that I was unimportant, and I had nothing to offer to the profession I so dearly loved.  I was ready to leave my career prematurely. I was not proud of being a teacher anymore.

            Why did I stay? What keeps me inspired and connected to the world of teaching, learning, and leadership?  Fortunately for me and my co-workers an amazing leader brought an amazing program to our school……..

This history is important to the story because now our school’s climate is completely different. We brought the nationally known recognition and reward process called Renaissance to our administration, staffulty, students, and parents.  The program includes everyone and recognizes individuals on many different levels. It has created a culture where “everyone wants to be”. 

            The Renaissance process has changed my life professionally and personally.  I have a renewed sense of self worth. I feel appreciated for the things I contribute to the school and students.  Renaissance has created the “team” approach and the abundance mentality to our school and community.  I feel our staff is more productive, happier and has more fun.  We are inspired and more creative because we feel better about ourselves and what we do.  We feel respected.”

Everyone should feel appreciated, and everyone should be reminded of their importance frequently. If you don’t feel appreciated, create an environment that does appreciate everyone connected to your organization! Make no mistake about it. No matter what you do, some people will find a complaint. Those people missed the bus. Try to get them on board the next day but do not let them interrupt your mission. Move forward by accepting your responsibility as a leader.

Coming Soon...

A Leadership Exchange

I've written about this before, and I'm excited that our school will travel to another school across the county to exchange ideas, service, and leadership training. We are excited to lay out the four cabins of the Leader-Ship.

I will post a reaction to the LE when we return. There is nothing more powerful than to see students training students in areas of success that will catapult there future exponentially by the number of leaders we create.

The four areas include:
Self-Management/Organization
Communication/Listening
Critical Thinking, Problem-Solving, and Team Building
Character Ed/Service

Impact

Impact

Having no impact is still creating impact somewhere. It reverts back to choice. Choice can be the single greatest factor on leadership. So those that choose to sit back and do nothing are allowing others to choose for them. Even your opinion, when spoken out loud, can impact your ability to lead.

What kind of impact do you choose? A “do nothing” attitude impacts your inability to lead. 

Congratulations! You are a follower. Self-communicating your ability to lead then doing something constitutes your ability to create more leaders and that is what all organizations need to do to sustain positive culture in the long-term. 

There is a direct correlation to “do nothingers” and complainers. Those negative qualities go hand in hand. They find bad in anything. I guarantee you they spread undesirable vibes at home, too.

This is a hard concept for students to understand at first. That is why our schools provides leadership training as soon as the students enter our school. Some of it is simple but some of it is not. Most of the students understand concepts like impact and attitude when they leave our organization.

Adults should understand their impact or “lack of” easily. However, you cannot reach those that do not want to be reached. So let us impact each other in a positive way. Today, I walked through the parking lots with two signs. One said: “Politeness is contagious.” The other said: “The Power of Politeness - HELLO, GOOD MORNING, PLEASE, THANK YOU, YOU ARE WELCOME, EXCUSE ME, I LOVE YOU, HOW MAY I HELP .  I definitely received a lot back both verbally and nonverbally.

Peace.

The View

Consider different points of view

I hope you are young when you read this because if you are old, this concept will take longer to develop. The approach you take to getting something changed will make a big difference. Always consider someone else’s “point of view” especially when it doesn’t agree with yours. Other “points of view” should be valued because that is someone’s reality. Good advice though, “Do not expect anyone to look through your eyes even when you look through their eyes.” You can refer back to unconditional love. Don’t expect anything in return. If only I considered and valued everyone’s point of view from an early age, my success in certain areas would have been met in a timelier manner. It takes practice, so start now.

Learn

When you stop learning you stop leading. I have met numerous individuals that put “so called” experts around them. This can be a wonderful concept if you understand what they are talking about, and you gain knowledge you can consolidate into a meaningful outcome. When you designate, you must be sure accomplishments are made in a positive direction. Never ask anyone to do something you would not do.

A continual review of the literature is essential in every aspect of a professional career. Add your own research to this review. I found that my own research in my organizations did not always follow the concepts I found in other people’s research. You must take your knowledge and match it to the situation. People are unique in some ways and alike in so many other ways. Do not be insulted when your opinion does not match the literature or your research. Be a learner and a leader. Then and only then can you stay on the Leader-Ship in the long-term.

We have a plethora of knowledge at the end of your fingertips. I mean this literally. You can look up anything on your smartphone then disseminate that information to your entire organization seamlessly. Sometimes it helps significantly to triangulate your data to make an informative decision. I think that is where a lot of  people get hung up. They rely of partial information.

If you really want to learn a lot about life, observe children. They are born without boundaries, and they offer terrific insight. Only after they are influenced by adults, do they become less free about their opinions. Instead of telling you what you want to hear, they tell you the truth. The truth always works in the long run even if there are consequences to your opinion.

Problem-solving

“The best way to solve a problem is not to have one.” –Rudnesky

The first step with problem solving is to identify the problem. After you identify the problem, eliminate yourself as the problem. For instance, some people have problems because they create them in their own minds. They look at threats and weaknesses without considering the opportunities and strengths. This eliminates educated solutions to the problem. With every conflict, there comes opportunity.

If you still have a problem, then you can proceed. What is the problem? Is it definitive? If it is definitive, then state the problem. Now let’s do an analysis. List the opportunities (outside your organization or you), and the strengths (inside your organization and you). Now you must list the threats (outside your organization or you), and the weaknesses (inside your organization and you). Compare the two sides.

What are your solutions? There may be more than one. There should be more than one. Which one is the most feasible? Now come up with a plan. This plan will be important. Your strengths will be the team’s strengths. The same with the rest of your team. Likewise, use your strengths to devour the weaknesses. Your available resources and monetary situation will have an effect on your plan of action.